Squishmallows - The Current Number One

As I’d imagine is the case with every kid, my girls have had several interests over the years. As soon as we get used to one, they’re on to the next; it can be so quick that it’s hard to keep up. From farmyard animals to LOL Dolls (with their horrible-to-put-on clothes), from Disney Princess dress ups to that of Wednesday Addams, they can be so varied that they render the previous one almost obsolete (in the sense that they do not fit in with the new theme, at all). My little girl’s latest interest (some might call it an obsession) I do enjoy; it nonetheless will cost me a small fortune if she manages to keep it up for more than five minutes!

Squishmallows. She bought her first two in the middle of last year. On occasion, she likes to try her luck and pretend she is asking for a gift for her and her little sister, and this time we gave in (my littlest girl did want one for the duration of the shopping trip), however by day two they were both residing on big sister’s bed (the little one had lost interest). Things quietened down somewhat following this purchase (so much so, I had no idea that it was even a craze) but we were hit full force by the Squishmallow fad towards the end of the year, and it seemed like the word ‘Squishmallows’ featured in her every second sentence. They’re spoken about so much; they’ve made their way onto my Facebook Newsfeed!

At the time of writing, my little girl has 28 Squishmallows, and she’ll probably have more by the time I come to publishing. They’re essentially cushions of different patterns, shapes and sizes (her first two, pretty much the size of couch cushions, are her only giant ones thus far). There must be hundreds, if not thousands, of the various quirky Squishmallow designs. There are animals, dinosaurs and mythical creatures, clowns, animated characters and Harry Potter themed pillows; there really is quite a range. She even owns food and drink versions, from ramen noodles, to bubble tea, to ice cream sundaes.

There are so, so many! It’s really hard to keep track (somehow, my little girl manages it, though!). Each one has its own name and story, its own persona. Each Squishmallow has a part to play in their world; like Wanda the Watermelon, who loves all-things strategy (such as chess, dominoes, and making the perfect sandwich). Then there is Philomena the Purple Toad, the mayoral candidate that also loves a siesta and hopes her platform for guaranteed nap times and memory foam strikes a chord with voters. I could go on and on forever about the cosy characters, but I’d be in danger of making this into more of a monotonous, repetitive novel than one of my slightly (hopefully) humorous takes on life with the terrible twosome.

They come in multi-packs, mix & match bundles and singular offerings. Mystery boxes of various sizes can also be found, where we do not know what we are getting. Of all of my little girl’s Squishmallows, there is not one that she forgets either (and she knows exactly which order she received them in); and it’s so hard to get her to settle at night if one is missing (although, that could just be her bedtime procrastination). Her bed is more Squishmallow than mattress or quilt at this point; so much so that she’s getting harder to find when I’m waking her up for school. I jest, but this does nothing for my writing time, which is a minor disaster as it stops me from putting out top-notch pieces like this one.

This Squishmallow fixation is sure to get worse before it gets better, and I know there’ll be many, many more purchases to come. It feels like at some point we’ll have to build an extension just to fit them all in, and I’ll have to sell a kidney to fund her lifestyle; or get the house remortgaged! It’s not just the cushions either, she gets hooked on copious amounts of YouTube and Tic Toc videos, which we have to sit through from time to time; while there are likewise numerous accessories that she’s looking to get into, such as a house for them to live in (or me, when they take my spot in the bed), quilts to cover them or a selection of keyrings. There is even a TV show called ‘Squishville’, which I haven’t introduced my girls to yet (I’ll save that for a rainy day).

I know I’ve made it sound like Squishmallows are some kind of addiction for my little girl, but she certainly does have more interests than that. Drawing is one of her favourite pastimes, and she loves to craft (or getting me to). It is just that they have overtaken much of the house, and she loves to take three or four of them to wherever she goes (we draw a line at outdoor areas, like the park). She’ll line them up, she’ll pair them up, she’ll put one on top of another, and so often I’ll feel something unexpectedly soft and squishy under my feet. What’s the best thing about them? They give us some quick and easy ideas for Christmas and birthday presents.

By Calum Dewsbury