Planning a Birthday Party

Planning a birthday party can be an arduous task. There is just so much to think about: creatively, considerately and most importantly, logistically. Often, the first thing to think about is the date. For this we’ll come up with a selection of, which will generally consist of the weekend closest to her birthday, as well as the two either side. First to consider: are there any other occasions around any birthday? For instance, my little girl was born on the weekend of Mother’s Day, so this usually needs to be navigated if nothing else.

Then we need to contemplate the type of party that we will be having. Is it to be at the house or another venue of some kind? If it’s the former: job done (OK, not quite); if it’s the latter: what kind of venue? A soft play centre or trampoline park? A room for role play? Or a party at a function room with a bouncy castle or entertainer (or both?). Following this, we’ll have to get in touch with a princess, a clown or a DJ (sometimes a combination), and/or we will source something ourselves. Getting tired just reading this already? I sure am writing it, never mind getting stuck in and planning it. This doesn’t scratch the surface, however.

When it comes to her birthday, of course, my little girl has a great deal of input, and like many ineffective CEOs, she’s been known to change her mind on a whim. It’s been quite a bit easier with my littlest girl, who has next to no input so far (although, I’m sure that is coming), but we know what she enjoys. The trouble with the youngest is that her interests have been known to switch on impulse, so we try to wait as long as possible until we make any arrangements. Once all is settled, it’s then time to set a wildly unrealistic budget (more on that later).

The first time we come to the realisation that we’ve budgeted nowhere near enough is when it comes to booking a venue (however, on occasion we strike lucky and another parent informs us of a reasonably priced spot). The location is a big determiner of the date that it is to take place; moreover, the availability of it. It can be almost as hard to find a date for a visit prior to the event too, where a number of factors will be considered, such as whether it is big enough, where the face painting station will go, and does it have a bar (this, at least, is just a hope on their daddy’s side). On the whole, I’ll pray that it’s satisfactory, otherwise we’re back to square one.

Just as infuriating (if not more so) can be the sourcing of entertainment. First, we must figure out what the girls want (if anything), and then we need to contact the companies. At this point it’s a waiting game: will they get back to us, and when? This is something else on which the date is decided, as it’s based around their availability. We’ll hope this matches up with the venue; and if not, which is easiest (and cheapest) to change? It can become a real head-scratcher.

The size of the setting and the capacity that the entertainment can offer gives us a further logistical issue when it comes to who gets an invitation to the party (this can be more difficult when limited to the space within the walls of our house). With a soft play centre or trampoline park, for instance, it’s usually expected that parents pay per head, therefore we have to factor in how many we can afford to invite. It may be that a 2nd entertainer is needed if we go down that route, which is the case for the party currently being planned for my little girl, because of the number of children that she wants to invite. Luckily, we have the opportunity now to invite a superhero alongside the princess.

It may be one of the simpler tasks, but there is a decision to be made when it comes to invitations; do the entertainers provide or do we need to source them? If it’s the latter, do we go for an elaborate design or something more generic? Email? Facebook? Smoke signals? Intuition? OK, I’m going a bit far now, but you get my drift. Similarly, the style of cake can be a conundrum: supermarket or something a little more artistic? The former is quicker and easier, while the latter will engender more excitement from the little ones. Usually, the choice is both: one for the party and one for a small gathering with family (yes, they're spoilt).

Next are the decorations: How many and what? Banners are the most obvious, but we’ll have to picture in our mind’s eye how many and where they should be placed around the venue (providing it is not at home). Many will say that no party is complete without balloons either, and the helium balloon is a favourite of my littlest girl, so we need to figure out the quantity and pattern of them. Perhaps the biggest question though, comes as we consider what the children are to eat. Sometimes the venue provides, or even forces, their food on you, or we could go through a more expensive but much more hassle-free catering company. Cheaper, but needing a lot more effort, is the ‘do it yourself’ method. Alternatively, bulk takeaway pizza or hot dogs can be easier than the lot.

We’ll begin to tie it all together, head in hands as we realise how over budget we actually are and I’ll be wondering which kidney I’ll have to sell. Nevertheless, it’s not over, especially if we’ve ordered a bespoke cake; the transportation of which is not dissimilar with some of the assignments on ‘Mission Impossible.’ I’ll be sat in the passenger seat of the car as we drive over what seem like the rockiest of terrains, while I try to hold onto the dessert like it’s the most delicate thing in the world. There needs to be enough weight placed on it so it does not fall, but not so much that I squash it myself. Getting home brings the arduous task of storing the thing too, which often means removing shelves from the fridge.  

I know what you’re thinking: you’ve gotten this far and I’ve not even started to talk about the actual day yet (or maybe not, given the title of the piece). Anyway, it is coming, but not before my little girl changes her mind on the theme (we have no such issue with my littlest girl as things stand). She’ll approach me, sheepish, saying she would like to change something (theme, venue etc), but it will be too little, too late. Frequently it will be decided that more decorations are needed, and there will be a mad dash to get more items that will end up in the bin at the end of the week and will take us further above the threshold we’d set for payments, but we will feel slightly better with how the room is laid out.

The morning of the party can be so stressful, whether it’s incessantly tidying the house to get it up to my wife’s standards or trying to rapidly spruce up a room half ‘n’ hour before; and don’t get me started on the food (providing we’ve chosen to create our own buffet), or getting the kids into their party outfits (and keeping them clean), this year, the eldest wants a costume party, which I can see adding to the stress. OK, grub is usually the domain of my wife and family (I can’t be trusted), but I can feel the temperature rise as dash around the kitchen. Many random thoughts will pop into our heads from here, such as “do we have enough chairs for the kids.” More than anything, it’s time to prepare for battle.

As the party commences, we have to be completely aware of what’s going on (duh!). I’ve had to pull my littlest girl off a high ledge, out from a hole or off another child in the past (her wildness has dissipated slightly as she’s grown, though), while there is always the potential for the clumsiness of my little girl to bear fruit as she runs into a wall or another of the party guests. This as we listen to the brain-draining children’s songs that seem to meld into one tune for about two hours, until dinner time brings some much-needed relief; for about two minutes (when half will be done and want to have another run around), filling my head with some ear-splitting screams and shouts. It’s a miracle if we don’t have at least three near-fatal injuries during the party.

Now it’s over and with it, the stress; well, not quite. There is still the cleanup. Again, we have around half ‘n’ hour to get the room cleared, with some of the guests still lingering around. Before-long it’s time to go home, with still around five hours to entertain the kids before bedtime, drained as we are. Unless it’s a house party, when you tend to have people occupying you for much of the day.

By Calum Dewsbury