The Pleasure & Pain that Comes From Play Time with My Little Girl

Playtime with my little girl is a joy. The level of ecstasy I feel upon seeing her laugh and smile as she runs around without a care is hard to rival. It’s not just the fact that she enjoys herself, but the creativity that she brings to most of her play. She’ll come up with her own little games, pretend one object is something else, give her toys their own little story; and she’ll mimic her nana as she works at her desk. Games used to be fun when she shuffled along on her elbows and knees and became more tiring as she got to grips with walking; while her whirlwind runs are the ultimate test in concentration. It’s special to see her do her thing, but there are trials that come with it all too.

Like I'm sure is the case for most toddlers, at times she just refuses to listen to us; and this gets worse at playtime. Stubborn one that she is, there is no changing her mind once she has something in her head; and it can become messy when she wants to paint or draw on her chalk board or roll of paper. We could know of a better (or safer) way to do something, such as collect a doll from a high-up place, but it doesn’t matter. “I want to do it on myself” is one of her favourite lines , and don’t we all love a toddler’s independence! Sometimes she will be attempting to do something that is simply impossible (or a definite no no), and a refusal can go one of two ways; she’ll have a tantrum or the why why why syndrome will come to the fore.

I want to look up to the heavens and question why myself when, after her milk and during my morning coffee, she'll ask the dreaded question: “will you play with me?” This might not seem so bad, but I’ll just want ten minutes at the start of the day to come around and I’ll be fully aware (presuming I’m not at work that day) that I’m to be out of commission from any form of adult activity for almost the entirety of the day; only getting some respite when the baby wants feeding or putting to sleep (even tea time can become a chore). The monotony is only exacerbated by the sheer repetition in her play; in that if she is playing with something at the start of the day, she usually is at the end. Then there's the park, where for 75% of the time she'll want to be pushed on the swing; back and forth, back and forth, until it's all that exists in the world! This is the main reason that we appreciate having other children around for her to play with.

Despite my moans about her tear ups with her slightly younger cousin or her disagreements with her older cousin, the distraction that comes with their visit is more than welcome. That being said, she’ll often want at least one adult to join them in their merriment, which can range between anything from running around in the garden to singing and dancing along to YouTube. Then comes the pitfall of them fighting over the same toy or, when tiredness ensues, full on tantrums every five minutes! Tiredness is a cruel mistress and is always around the corner, yet it’s hard to see it coming. We’ll think she’s doing well and bang, it hits us like a truck. Keeping her active is of the utmost importance but play can be a nightmare, and there’ll be screaming if any little thing goes wrong. Where she’ll laugh when my littlest girl knocks over her block tower throughout the day, it will be the end of the world when it’s nearly time for bed`.

Very little compares on the irritation scale to bedtime play either, where her toys have been known to become her best friend at the most inopportune moment. When we would just want to settle her, chill and watch some evening television, our girl would often have her own ideas. Not only does she delay her own sleep at bedtime, but she’s been known to make the task of getting our littlest girl to nap through the day all the harder too, particularly when only one parent is around to look after the terrible twosome (my wife knows about this a lot better than I do!). If she’s not pressing us to forget soothing her sister and play, she’ll have her loudest toys out; and she’ll shriek when the on-shift parent tells her to stop.

It’s a hope of mine that nursery helps to develop her when it comes to play. I hope that she can harness her creativity as she grows and develops. I hope she makes friends and is comfortable playing with them. It wouldn’t hurt, too, if she learns how to better play on her own. This I expect to come more and more as she grows and I’m sure I’ll get to a point where I miss her constant badgering. Luckily, we have a child two years younger to take her place when that time comes. Whose great idea was that again?

By Calum Dewsbury