The Trials and Tribulations of a Sunday with Her Older Cousin

The relationship that my little girl has with her older cousin is like no other in her life. He’s a gentle giant of a child, someone who loves her with all his heart and someone that will do almost anything for her. As with all kids, he can succumb to tiredness and has had the “it’s mine” syndrome from time to time (although less often than her recently), but on the whole he’s one of the best behaved around; and he’s a wonderful role model for her. She certainly loves him too – his is one of the first names on her lips when we’re going to my nana’s, or her “G nana’s” – even if she shows it in a different way to him.

When we arrive at our destination, the central hub for my side of the family, it’s a metaphorical flip of the coin as to which mood she’ll be in. Will she want the swings? Will she look for the crayons, colours or (god forbid) paints? Will it be a jigsaw day? We don’t know until she walks through the door. One thing that’s almost guaranteed, is that she’ll race towards the kitchen, and he’ll chase after her with his hands held aloft; imploring that she plays with him. Eventually, once she’s staked the joint out, she’ll settle in her chosen location (either the garden or the living room), so that they can commence with their fun.

Here’s where it gets interesting. Unlike her other cousin, who will generally want exactly what she has (and vice versa), and will look to do something entirely different once he gets sick of her drama, the older one dotes on her and will usually do exactly what she wants; at least to begin with. It isn’t all candy and rainbows however, as his added maturity often means that he has some idea of how to play certain games, but being a mere 18 months older than her, he can’t understand why she isn’t doing the same. He’ll have a sticker book, for instance, and she loves to stick them here, there and everywhere; while he just wants to place them on their dedicated pages. At this he gets a little agitated as she fails to follow his instruction.

Agitation is her middle name though, and it will not be long before something triggers her. Not getting what she wants, or being told to share, will result in her screaming as she spins on the spot, akin to the tornado that sucked up Dorothy’s house in the Wizard of Oz. We’ll be sat eating our tea (dinner, in some quarters), when we’ll suddenly hear her cry out in a manner that would make us believe she was being murdered, if we didn’t know her better. This will be as she hasn't been able to switch the phone or tablet over from its current channel, as she is wont to do time and time again; resulting in one of us allowing her some time on one of our phones; presuming we haven’t brought her device with us.

Once they’ve finished eating, they’ll commence with playing and will try to delay home time. It will be late by this point, and tiredness will creep in. Tempers will be fraying and it will only take one wrong move for it all to end in tears (typically hers, drama queen that she is). Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t; but it’s a huge indication that its time to go home. The terrible twos have exacerbated this as they’ve also brought her closer to him in so many ways. She’s undoubtedly more on his wavelength, even as Covid-19 made them slightly less familiar with each other initially , and while she is less outwardly loving with him than she used to be; she definitely looks up to him; and she demonstrates her love for him each time he comes up in conversation.

By Calum Dewsbury