The Dummy - The Most Addictive of Toddler Drugs

The dummy has been our saviour on many occasions. It is so simple yet so effective; some may even say magical. There is a certain genius in its creation, with each being made using a mere piece of plastic and some latex. They are a one-stop shop for a quiet child (most of the time); and, quite frankly, they’ve been one of the more important tools in our armoury when it comes to controlling our baby-cum-toddler. Whining, put a dummy in. Complaining, put a dummy in. Screaming, put a dummy in.

You might call that lazy, and you’d be absolutely right, but boy does it make our life that little bit easier. This is almost certainly our fault; but getting my little girl to sleep is almost impossible without the dummy at the minute. There’s a double-edged sword to it though, as she's learnt to use it to her advantage when fighting sleep; by simply taking it out of her mouth and throwing it across the room. Equally, when we do get her there and she begins to stir, popping it back in will often settle her.

Despite all of the above, and the fact that we will almost definitely be using a dummy with our next child, we have certainly built a rod for our own back. She's come to rely heavily on the dummy, and it is going to be a heck of a job getting her to stop. It’s become her most addictive drug (closely followed by the cake), and is one that she has no intention of kicking. She’ll subconsciously speak the word “dodey” as she walks around the house and it will be in constant demand when she’s feeling a upset, disgruntled, tired, or when the day ends in ‘y.’

She is like a magician when it comes to the dummy. I’ll take one, two, three out of her mouth; and a fourth will appear as if from thin air. She'll burrow them out from somewhere she’d previously stored them, akin to a squirrel with its nuts, and she'll defy her own climbing strengths if she spots one on the dining table. Failing this, she'll speak about it with an obsession that chips away at us until we can't bear it any more; and we go in search of one for her. With baby number two here, I can only imagine that her need for attention will become that bit more substantial, and our need for the dummy, if only to give us a small semblance of quiet, will become that bit more prevalent.

By Calum Dewsbury