8 Football Rules that Need to Change

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in the IFAB offices when they’re discussing the rules of the beautiful game. I just can’t believe what the sport is being turned into, by the divers, by certain sections of support and, most importantly, by the lawmakers. There is much that has made the game better: football has gone soft, but player protection is a good thing, while I believe the game has benefitted from goal line technology and VAR (although this still has a long way to go). There is much that has simply gone too far however, with football being poked and prodded, twisted and re-shaped to within an inch of its life; all in a search for perfection that is impossible to achieve and which is making it seem more manufactured by the day. Many laws are too detailed to make sense, and its ruining the spectacle for one and all; here are eight such:

Handball

The interpretation of handball in modern day football is farcical. This, as well as that of offside (which I’ll get to later) is one of the main reasons why the game is becoming less appealing to the majority. If players are making themselves larger by moving their arms into an unnatural position, then it’s handball It seems, however, that if their hands aren’t glued to their sides nowadays, then it’s handball. Victor Lindelof was in a running motion against Crystal Palace, Joel Ward almost had his hand behind his back against Everton, and Eric Dier got penalised despite having his back turned! Then there’s the idiotic decision to make it an offence for it to be handball if it hits a hand in any way, shape or form before a goal (which I could rant and rave all day about). I know they’ve tightened this to just the assister or the scorer this season, but that still isn’t enough.

Offside

Here it is, as I promised. The ever-changing law, it’s different almost every year. The way they are called using VAR is infuriating in itself, but that’s not the point of this piece. It’s the fact that no one knows whether they’re coming or going with offside. It is fiddled with so regularly that it can’t be followed, the Manchester City goal against Aston Villa being a textbook example. All of this first, second and third phase garbage is intolerable. Sure, it’s good in theory, but it’s so complicated in practice; particularly when we’re talking about such fine margins. It’s exasperating to see a goal get chalked off because of an overgrown toenail, a stray armpit hair or a nose that resembles that of Pinocchio. There is also the safety aspect, as a flag delayed until an attack ends is sure to result in an unnecessary collision one day, although I'm not sure how this can be rectified while tech is involved.

Penalty Re-take When a Goalkeeper Leaves Their Line

VAR has highlighted this more than anything else. When a goalkeeper saves a penalty, you now look on in hope or trepidation (depending on your allegiance) as to whether the kick will be retaken. I think they have a hard enough job on spot kicks if they’re able to step forward, never mind if they have to dive sideways from a standing start. One solution, I guess, would be to push off from behind the line, but that could come with all sorts of timing issues. Mistime it and they may find themselves saving the ball behind the line or ending up in front of the line anyway. I know we like goals but I would give the stopper the full six-yard box to jump forward into, as long as they don’t start moving before the taker starts running This, at least, would make it less likely for the attacker to take a stupid slow run up or a skip before shooting. Too much? I think they should be allowed one step forward at the very least.

Bookings for Taking your T-Shirt Off

I remember when this came into play: when Diego Forlan was unable to get his shirt back on after celebrating a goal against Southampton. The fact that it takes away the potential for such comedy is enough to say that this rule is nonsensical (although many would say that they could have done without seeing Giggs’ hairy chest after his FA cup semi-final goal against Arsenal, too). In all seriousness, it’s something that doesn’t really hurt anyone, and I get that the simple solution is to just not take your shirt off after a goal (I don’t really understand the impulse, either), but is the rule really all that necessary when you think of everything else that can be improved?

Bookings for Going to Your Own Fans

Again, this doesn’t really hurt anyone, does it? The fact that you can put yourself at a bigger risk of a red card, and a step closer to a suspension, for something so harmless, doesn’t seem right to me. In fact, it may even make the day for fans in the first few rows (as much as I think the idolising of footballers is pretty wrong in itself). I get that antagonising opposition supporters should be punished, but you’re hardly going to incite riots going towards your own are you? Again, the easy fix is to just not run into the crowd, but when you’ve scored a last minute winner I expect that logic can sometimes go out the window.

Yellow Cards for Conning the Referee

This is more of a personal bug bear, but I just can’t stand diving, simulation or any kind of falling to the floor to get another player punished. The most farcical one recently has been when Alexander Mitrovic went over like he’d been taken out by a baseball bat, when in fact Thomas Soucek had grazed him with an elbow while trying to lift his arm over his head (and he got a red after the ref consulted the monitor, too!). There are really three points I would like to get across with this one: I see diving for a penalty to be akin to that of stopping a goalscoring opportunity at the other end of the pitch; I think if you’re proven to be trying to get a player sent off then you should be punished in the same way; while clear dives are rarely punished these days, even when there is no contact. Each, for me, should be punished with no less than a red card to try and get it out of the game, and with VAR being brought in it is easy to spot; or at the very least there should be retrospective punishment (although this doesn’t help the offended team on the day).

Fouls on the ‘keeper

This seems to have been the case since before the dawn of time, but how much goalkeepers get protection is so annoying to me. Where I was fighting for keepers in my previous point, I am totally against them here; I just think it’s a little bit of a joke as to what attackers are penalised for. We had the Martial goal against Sheffield United that was wrongly chalked off after Maguire was adjudged to have fouled Ramsdale and the laughable incident that went against Burnley where it probably should have been a penalty to the Burnley player! You can’t go up for a challenge at all it seems, and a slight breeze will send them over, with the referee inevitably blowing their whistle. It could be make or break for any team and could be a reason why the ‘big man up top’ is almost obsolete.

Financial Fairplay

This is a controversial one. We need something to keep this club solvent, but I’m not sure Financial Fair Play is it. I’m no expert, but from everything I read, I agree with Gary Neville that it is anti-competition. Clubs should not be running themselves into the ground, but this system seems to be very much tailored towards the so-called elite clubs – and I’m saying this as a fan of one of the biggest in the world. Manchester City and PSG are in no danger of going out of business, yet they are constantly under investigation, and this is where I am coming from. I think a salary cap of some form for the lower leagues could be beneficial, although I’m not sure how this works legally. Other than this, I don’t have the answer, but there must be something better out there, surely?

The phrase ‘if it’s not broke, don’t fix it’ comes to mind when it comes to football (although that is a bit hypocritical of me to say as an advocate of VAR), but it seems that the lawmakers are hell-bent on creating a perfect game that cannot be. I realise I’ve mentioned small changes to make, but they are only to what has been amended previously. VAR in its current guise isn’t working and it needs to butt out quite a lot. Whether it’s for the TV, those within the game or a power grab by the higher ups, the fans of the game deserve so much better, and the consistency of the referees needs to improve too!

By Calum Dewsbury